


soulmate (as in soulmate soulmate)

by overyourcorpse



Series: tumblr fic [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Baking, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overyourcorpse/pseuds/overyourcorpse
Summary: Bitty had the same soulmate from the day of his birth, till the first proper day of college.





	1. Chapter 1

Bitty had the same soulmate from the day of his birth, till the first proper day of college. Other people would have felt bitter, to have their mother be their soulmate, and in fact it was basis for its own fair share of bullying, but Bitty liked it.

He liked baking with her, and he liked making the kitchen their home. It was warm and uncomplicated, and his mother was his soulmate.

She was his soulmate, until the aforementioned day, when he started college and met the whole hockey team. Especially the captain.

Bitty stumbled, tried to hold himself up, and touched Jack Zimmermann. That was it, and suddenly his mother as best possible match was replaced. Just like that.

Of course he was excited at first, a possible romantic soulmate is everything he ever dreamed of. And since his mother was such a good match, Jack should have been an even better one. Should have been the key word, since the boy left Bitty in the locker room without a backward glance.

“I know mama,” Bitty sighs into his phone, wishing he would have skyped with his mom instead, “It was just a little disappointing, to be shrugged aside like that.”

“Give him some time,” she assured him over the phone, “you don’t know what happened in his past, or who his last match was. Maybe something happened, or it’s more complicated than you know, Dicky.”

“Yeah you’re right mama,” Bitty sighs and tries not to get impatient just with the thought of all the obstacles, he’ll probably has to overcome. He had hoped for something easy, just like his mom, but it seems like he was gonna have to fight. It’ll be worth it, he just knows that.

“His name’s Jack,” Bitty says, “he seemed nice to some of the older boys.”

He tries to remember the smile on Jack’s face, when Shitty had tried to jump onto his back.

“It’ll all work out, Dicky, you’ll see!”

His mama’s word are reassuring as always, and just for one second, he already misses their bond.

* * *

The next day, he walks to the Haus after his first class, and tries to bring himself to go inside. Bitty’s nervous, doesn’t know if he’s even welcome. It’s Jack’s place, even though it should be his now too, but after yesterday he is scared of what Jack might’ve done or said.

Did he tell others? Does he want Bitty off the team?

Bitty nearly comes to a stop, but remembers that it’s not up to Jack, even if he’s the captain. He can make his time at Samwell hard, yes, but Bitty had worse. He can take it. He just needs to…

He stands in front of the Haus’ door, and pumps himself up, to just walk inside.

“Just go straight to the kitchen,” he tells himself, “just to the kitchen.”

He pushes inside, as silent as possible and runs for the kitchen.

“Just a little bit of baking,” he mutters to himself and starts unpacking his backpack.

* * *

Bitty’s taking his second pie out of the oven, when Shitty walks in the kitchen, and flops down onto one of the chairs.

“Can I have a slice?” He asks, but he already magically has a plate in front of him on the table, and is starting to cut in the pie. Bitty tries to be satisfied, that he at least uses plates, but can’t keep the frown off his face.

Still he says, “Sure, of course, just help yourself.”

He puts the second pie on the table, and sits down, to taste the first one he baked.

He hopes, it’s not half as bad as the one he sadly made in the common kitchens in his dorm, and is pleasantly surprised, when it’s good. Still not as good as the ones he made at home, still not half as good as the ones he had made in the presence of his mother – his soulmate – but he tries not to mourn too much after them. He probably won’t ever do pies as good as these ones.

Bitty doesn’t cry. He doesn’t.

“So, I guess Jack is your soulmate,” Shitty says.

Bitty chokes on some apples and jumps up to get water. He doesn’t sit down again, after he doesn’t still feel like dying, trying to get some false sense of distance.

“He told you?” Bitty asks. “I mean, yes I guess he is.”

Shitty shovels just another piece of pie on his plate, and shrugs. He is not watching Bitty, and Eric is suddenly glad for it.

He busies himself with washing up the dirty bowls, ignoring the silence between them, when they are gratefully interrupted by Ransom or Holster. Bitty’s still not sure, which of them is who, so he doesn’t try to say anything, when one of them walks in.

“Yo Bits,” Ransom or Holster says, sniffing at the pies, as if he’s trying to test them for something, “you made more pies?”

“Yeah,” Bitty smiles and gets another plate out of the cupboards, “you want some?”

Ransom or Holster – Bitty should really find out who’s who, he’s just too nervous to ask again after they’d already been introduced – lets out a whoop and fills their plate with… a lot of pie.

“I’m gonna bring Rans a piece,” obviously Holster says, and runs out of the kitchen again. He doesn’t mention Bitty being in the Haus or the soulmate thing.

Bittys relief is short-lived, because walking out the kitchen, Holster holds the door open for Jack.

Scowling, grumpy Jack. Bitty’s soulmate Jack. Running away Jack. Refusing to talk to Bitty, Jack. Never gonna love him Ja-

“Can I talk to you, Bittle?” Jack interrupts his morose thoughts and Bitty jumps a little bit, when Jack is suddenly standing a little too close to him. He sets his game face, and nods.

“Sure Jack, what’s up?” He smiles for good measure, even though he really, really wants to hide. But instead of being able to hide, Shitty gets up and leaves the two of them alone in the room. Bitty thinks of his mother’s reassuring words and smiles once more up at Jack.

He can do it, he thinks, he can make Jack change his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Bitty nervously cleans dishes, trying to ignore the sudden awkward silence coming from Jack, as he throws short glances at the boy. Man, he corrects himself silently, because Jack doesn’t look one bit the college boy, he actually is.

But then Jack clears his throat, and Bitty freezes.

“I wanted to talk to you about the thing,” Jack says, and pauses again. “The soulmate thing.”

Bitty tries not to jump to conclusions at Jack calling it a ‘thing’, but his heart doesn’t get the memo, and he nearly wishes his soulmate had remained his mother.

He desperately wants to call her, let her make everything alright again, and take his nervousness away. He is scared; Samwell was supposed to be different than the south he grew up in and all the boys, who bullied him in school. But what if he makes the wrong impression on Jack? Or the right? What if Jack truly doesn’t want him, and everything is just another disappointment.

He doesn’t want to be the disappointment for Jack.

“Yes,” he says, “I guess you’re my soulmate. And I am yours, right?”

Jack nods and anxiously clasps his hands together. It’s the first real sign, that he might be as nervous as Bitty, and for some reason that makes Bitty feel better.

“Shitty said…” Jack breaks off and starts again. “I’m sorry for running away yesterday.”

“It’s alright,” Bitty says, “you were probably surprised.”

He nervously continues, without looking Jack in the eyes.

“I was really surprised too! My mother has been my soulmate my whole life, and I really didn’t expect to meet you. Well, I expected to meet you, but not _you_ you…you know what I mean?”

The silence hangs in the air for a second, before Jack gives a tiny nod.

“I didn’t expect a new connection either. And like I said, I am really sorry for reacting poorly.” Jack jerks his head, as if to reinforce the point for himself. “But I think we can make it work and play some good hockey together!”

“Hockey?” Bitty squeaks, and suddenly his ‘probably not a love connection but maybe’ sounds not even like a ‘close friendship’ connection. He’s disappointed and confused. Not ever did he hear of people not making a big deal of new soulmates, at this point in their life.

They’re old enough, to have had at least one seriously important or good soulmate touch, even if it’s expected to probably change again. Bitty’s only eighteen after all.

But Jack is older. He would have thought it might be more important for someone like him.

“Yeah,” Jack says, “my last soulmate was on the hockey team, too. Shitty– I don’t know, if you already met him– so I guess it makes sense, to have it be a teammate again.”

Bitty nods and hums, but he wants to scream. He wants to scream, that his last soulmate wasn’t just a teammate. He wants to scream, that his mother was his most important person, that she actually taught him everything he had to show, that she was his best friend, and the thought of a better match was still so far away.

“We can,” Jack hesitantly says, “we can get to know each other, if you want.”

“That would be great.”

Bitty shows his brightest smile, and hopes it will be enough.

* * *

It’s nice being friends with Jack though, Bitty finds out fast. A little weird at times, and a bit hard in the beginning, but none the less nice.

Sometimes he’s too harsh at practice, but he always apologizes after, and more often than not Jack brings him even coffee. Probably to ease his guilt, but it’s nonetheless nice, to be thought of.

There is a situation a few days into the semester, and at first Bitty’s scared he’s gonna get dropped, like he dropped on the ice in practice, but instead Jack disappears for an hour and comes back with Shitty and a well thought out plan for a checking clinic.

Shitty is another good thing, that came with Jack’s friendship. Or less with Jack’s friendship and more totally on his own.

They had the initial “sometimes Jack has trouble expressing himself”-conversation and the “Jack needs a lot of time”-talk, but after those, Shitty became a fixture in Bittys life, completely apart from Jack.

He’s one of the few, who actually sit down in the Haus kitchen with Bitty, and keep a steady presence while Bitty bakes. Jack is the other one, with the difference, that he talks a lot less than Shitty. He feels warm, every time they do it.

“You know, I’m really glad he has you, Bits,” Shitty says, one morning while everyone’s busy on campus. “The whole soulmate thing is normative bullshit and stuff, but I’m really glad he’s got a reciprocated bond with you.”

Bitty interrupts his baking, leaves the pie he was making for Jack half-done behind, and sits down next to Shitty. They never talk about Jack like that, so he anxiously wrings his hands.

“I don’t know… I don’t think our bond is better, than the one he had with you,” Bitty says, “we’re barely friends.”

“Didn’t we already talk about this? It’s not about reciprocated bonds being better,” Shitty looks animated, but calms his face quickly. “You are obviously his soulmate, because he needs you; and he is yours, because you need him. For whatever that might be.”

“And you know, he’s still my best friend,” Shitty continues, “but I always felt him being careful with me, because he wasn’t my soulmate… He never wanted to take too much, or need me too much. So I’m glad he has you, not because of the bond, but because of Jack. And I think, you’re already pretty good friends!”

They’re silent for a minute, Bitty trying not to fiddle with his phone and instead stands up to continue making Jack’s pie.

He wants to tell Shitty, how much he treasures Jack being his soulmate, but doesn’t know how. He is still scared of saying the wrong thing in front of the hockey boys, that –despite all– still sometimes remind him too much of the guys he grew up with.

“I’m lucky to have him,” he answers instead.

“He too. Hope he’s treating you right.” Shitty says with a quick smirk and a wink.

“What? He’s not my boyfriend!” Bitty suddenly panics. “Not that I want him to be… or anyone…I’m not like…”

His voice gets smaller and smaller before he can talk himself completely into a hole, and with his cheeks aflame, he breaks off and closes his mouth.

He shouldn’t have said that, Bitty thinks. For all that he is scared, he promised himself, he wouldn’t lie about himself at Samwell anymore. He wanted to be brave, and now he failed again.

“Um,” Bitty wants to take it back.

“Brah,” Shitty says, “it’s cool! Whatever floats your boat– or doesn’t. Nobody’s judging. It’s Samwell, right?”

Bitty doesn’t know if he should feel relieved for the out of not having to admit to anything, but takes it regardless. He’ll have to reflect later on about this conversation, on his feelings, but for now he just wants the awkwardness gone.

“So did I already tell you? Mama sent me a care package with some of the stuff I forgot, and now I can finally try the recipe she posted on pinterest!” Bitty jumps up from his seat and rummages aimlessly around the kitchen. “It’s gonna take a while, but it’ll be worth it.”

* * *

Bitty doesn’t even notice it’s a crush right away.

In hindsight, he should have seen it, as obvious as it was, but in that moment he never dared to think about it.

The flutter of his heart? It is rather cold outside today. Looking forward to the checking clinics? Jack’s helping him be better at hockey, to keep his scholarship. Smiling, just looking at Jack? It’s a beautiful day, the sun is out, and he’s just enjoying the breeze. It’s not weird. At all.

He doesn’t notice, that it might not be hopeless, either.

Coffee dates? Jack is just really, really trying to be a good platonic soulmate. Really trying.

“Of course I like him, mama,” Bitty says into his phone, “he’s my soulmate.”

“Yes, but do you _like_ him?” Suzanne ask and clicks her tongue. “He sounds like a real nice boy and he’s your soulmate. Don’t you want to maybe date him?”

“I,” Bitty doesn’t know what to answer. Okay, he has a crush, he can acknowledge that, but, “he said _friends_ , mama. And I’m at least his second platonic soulmate at college already. Maybe he just needs friends.”

“But what about you?” she says, “what do you need?”

Bitty keeps silent. What does he need, indeed.

* * *

His crush doesn’t go away, and Jack doesn’t either.

At first Bitty’s afraid all the time that he is too obvious and that he’s giving himself away, but after some time his nerves calm. If Jack did notice, he didn’t mind. All the times Jack made Bitty laugh too hard, and Bitty settled his hand a little too long on his arm, and he acted like Jack was the only one in the world– Jack never looked away.

He reasons with himself. Maybe he shouldn’t get his hopes uselessly up, but he also shouldn’t imagine a worse case scenario. After all they are soulmates, and shouldn’t that mean that Jack accepts Bitty, just as he is?

Bitty lives his life, in class, with the team and in the Haus, and finally feels unafraid. He is still a little wary at times, but not around Jack anymore. Jack gets to feel the full force of Bitty’s “I am being myself”, and he doesn’t…leave. He just smiles at him, and calls out “Bittle”’s across wherever they are and meet.

It’s routine. Or at least it is until family weekend.

Bitty finally saw his mother again, scored his first goal and just met Jack’s dad, and he feels warm and happy and nothing can bring him down. Except Jack, as it seems, who has been distant and tense since…since Bitty met his dad and Jack his mother.

Maybe he wasn’t ready for a meet-the-parents with his soulmate. Or maybe it was something, he didn’t want at all, since they were obviously only platonic. And teammates.

“Good game, really good game,” Bob repeats once more and Bitty tunes in again. They are standing in the hallway, and his mother still has an air of excitement around herself, from meeting Bad Bob Zimmermann. Also known as Jack’s dad.

“Suzanne, you must be so proud of your son, that was a clutch shot! Though I know…”

“It was a lucky shot,” comes a mumbled interruption from Jack.

Bob falls silent, and his mother lets out an inaudible gasp, but Bitty can only stare. It’s so sudden, and a whirl of emotion squeezes in his chest, and before he can even assess them, Jack already flushes at the attention and scrubs a hand down his face.

“No wait,” Jack sounds regretful and Bitty’s traitorous, hopeful heart jumps. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Bitty, not at all.”

“It’s okay, Jack,” Bitty answers, still a little stunned.

Nobody is saying anything else, but also nobody is moving away, so they all stand awkwardly together, until Jack clears his throat again, eyes flickering away from Bitty.

Bitty doesn’t want to think about what that could mean for them, at all. It’s not real, nothing is real.

“I should go,” Jack says, “shower.”

Jack turns around and walks, nearly jogs, down the hallway. Bitty tries to think of anything to say, anything but the thing that just happened, but his mind blanks.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Suzanne,” Bob says with a sigh and a small rueful smile. “Eric, we’ll be seeing you!”


	3. Jack and Bob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (interlude)

“Everything alright?” His dad asks, as if they don’t both think about the giant elephant in the room. 

Maybe Jack should be grateful, that he’s not making it a big deal, but then again he thinks ‘am I really this broken? does he really have to be _this_ careful with me?’. 

Of course it makes him bitter, makes him snap at his dad, even though he would do nothing rather, than pour his heart out. But that’s not their relationship, has never been it. 

“I’m fine.” 

Maybe it’s his fault, Jack thinks, it’s all because he always reacts so prickly, maybe… 

“Just, if you want to talk,” Bob says, “I’m here for you… I’m always here for you!”

Maybe it is time to be better. Just not hockey this time, but a better person. If after all this years, his father still hasn’t given up on him, maybe it was time to put his therapist's words to use. 

“I don’t know what to do.”


	4. Chapter 4

The days after family weekend are weird.

Most things get back to normal, but Bitty has more and more the feeling, that Jack wants to make up for the way he acted and what he said– buying him coffee after coffee, walking him to classes, and the touching…oh the touching.

Jack never acted as if the little touches they shared were unwelcome, even before the family weekend, but now he positively seeks out Bitty’s skin, and it makes Bitty flush with desire and longing. He tries to gauge, if Jack is acting out of guilt or if he actually wants a closer relationship with Bitty, but he is as hard to read as ever and Bitty can’t help but revert to his anxious self.

He misses the easy soulmate relationship he had with his mother; no second guessing, no messy feelings, and especially no freakin’ blushing.

* * *

“So, how do we start?” Jack asks, and Bitty ignores the twist in his stomach at Jack’s arm once again brushing his.

“We start with the dough,” he says and puts all the ingredients on the table.

Teaching Jack how to bake is the most fun Bitty had in a while, and when they leave the dough to chill, he has mostly forgotten about the strain that had been between them.

Jack had apparently not, and before Bitty can even think to fill the silence with more baking tips, Jack casually slides closer to him and carefully smiles at him.

“I never realized just how close you and your mother actually were,” he says, picking at the hem of his shirt. “It seems nice– _she_ seemed nice!”

There is a long breath of silence after Bitty’s agreeing hum, but then Jack suddenly croaks a desperate “sorry”.

He takes a step towards Bitty, reaching for his hand, but not taking it. It’s the most unsure Jack had been with him for a while.

“Bits, I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand before. I’m sorry for pushing you away and never…”

Jack pauses and takes a deep breath.

“I really thought you were a hockey match for me. And then you had so many problems with checking, and I started helping you, so I thought that was the reason I was your match. You had such a perfect match before, and then you got me…"

Bitty’s hand trembles, when he finally closes the distance and takes Jack’s hand in his.

“It’s okay,“ he rushes to say, "you don’t have to apologize. I’m just glad to have you in my life! You’re a pretty great soulmate just the way you are.”

Jack’s careful smile lights Bitty up in totally new ways.

* * *

He calls his mother that evening, happy for the first time that week.

“Mama,” Bitty whispers into his phone, “I think maybe it can work. Jack and I were backing today, and it was really good! It was just as easy as when we…I missed that so much, I missed _you_ so much. But today I didn’t.“

* * *

The next day Ransom and Holster try to set him up for the Winter Screw.

Bitty makes his awkward excuses and leaves them behind to hole up in his room and practice his ‘I’m gay’ speech, when suddenly he turns around mid-sentence, and his world comes crashing down.

Or at least that is what his anxiety tells him, as a frozen Jack stares at him from his position in Bitty’s door, still holding onto the knob with one hand. They are both looking at each other with wide eyes, and for one second Bitty really, truly believes Jack will be done with him.

Instead Jack looks to the side, to Bitty, to the side again, and Eric finally spots the faint blush on his cheeks that two months he would have misunderstood as anger.

"I uh,” Jack starts, “I wanted to ask, if you maybe wanted to go with me to the Winter Screw. Since we’re soulmates and all, and…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, just scratches his head with one hand, and sends a surprisingly shy glance Bitty’s way. Bitty tries really hard not to faint.

“Um,” he hesitates, “like a date?”

As soon as it’s out of his mouth, Bitty already regrets asking. He should have just agreed, in whatever way Jack meant, and not made it weird. But before he can take it back, Jack is already standing in front of him, close enough to touch.

“My father said I should show you, that I…” Jack sways a little, like he wants to reach out, but doesn’t let himself. He sounds frustrated. “I know we didn’t have the best start. And I didn’t realize at first, that I… that I… I really like you, Bittle. Bitty. And I…I hope…”

He breaks off again, but this time he doesn’t look away from Bitty. Instead he reaches out, for his hand with a sigh.

“Yes, a date,” Jack says, “please?”

* * *

They are standing at the side of the dance floor, talking softly with each other, when a tall, blonde girl walks over to them.

For a moment Bitty’s nervous, that she’ll ask Jack to dance and Jack will actually go with her, but then she stops in front of them and looks Bitty quickly up and down.

“So this is your soulmate?” She asks Jack, and with a smile Jack takes Bitty’s hand in his and nods.

“This is my _soulmate_.”


End file.
